Be. U. TY Podcast is Here! The podcast that will help you unveil your authentic self so you can show the world who you are confidently. In today’s episode, our host Adozie Duffy talks about you. You as a person. You as a soul, a brain and a body, and what that means, or what it can mean. How we spend a lot of time, disconnected to the reality of life, and that reality being, we are not that complicated.
“They have convinced us that all of our problems are unsolvable. And that we are the first and only people to ever go through anything”
“Thoughts are just sentences in your brain. That’s it. No real threats, no actual things that will jump out of your brain and into reality in front of you, just a string of words in your head. You are saying to yourself.”
“Your body is the vessel for your emotions, your body is the thing that turns thoughts into reality. Because your thoughts cause your body to react.”
“The fact that you can observe your thoughts, means that you are not your thoughts.”
“When you feel lost or overwhelmed or stressed or unaligned or unworthy, not enough. It is simply because you are misplaced in your soul, you are looking for yourself and external things and external people, and external circumstances, when the only way to get to it and to access it, is to look within, is to find that space between your thoughts and your body.”
What to watch for:
2:16 – We are not that complicated
3:26 – The three main components
8:05 – Your Brain
8:44 – Your Body
9:35 – Your Soul
12:36 – Feeling the right connection
14:02 – Finding your true feelings and giving space for them
Connect with Adozie
Hey QT’s, I wanted to come on here and talk with about you. You as a person. You as a soul & a brain & a body, & what that means, or what it can mean.
A lot of us spend a lot of time conjuring about dramatic stories about ourselves, our lives, the people in it & the future. We spend a lot of time & energy believing our own bullshit, therefore we spend a lot of time disconnected to the reality of life. & that reality being, we are not that complicated.
Now, stay with me. I’m not trying to insult, but instead give you a break. I’m trying to help you cut yourself some slack. & help you see how ridiculous our brains are on a daily basis. They have us convinced that all of our problems are unsolvable, & that we are the first & only people to ever go through anything. They have us convinced that we are so different & misunderstood & that no WE are actually the exception when it comes to being worthy, or enough, or understood. & when I put it like that, maybe some of you guys might be pushing back at me about this, but just stay with me for a moment.
You have a body. You have a brain. & you have a soul (or a heart, or a spirit, whichever word you want to use for this that will make you still be able to engage with what I’m saying without rolling your eyes every 5 seconds)
Your brain is an amazing & incredible tool. It is this big lump of goo in our head that let’s us create, & dream & learn & it does this all with little to no extra effort on our part. Right? It’s like we point it in a general direction & then it’s off, doing it’s thing & making this happen.
Then you have your body. Which is where many of us avoid spending our time. But regardless, we have this body that gets us from place to place, that allows us to move things around in our surrounding & that takes up space in this physical world. It is the tangible us that we can see & touch & use to touch things & it allows us to have sensations that make the world around us a concrete thing.
Now, then there is this more “abstract” form of us right? Our soul. The thing that makes us whole. The thing that connects our mind & our body & that connects us to the world at large. The thing that connects us to other people, & the thing that makes things matter. That little flame inside of us. That part of you that can see your brain talking to you, & the part of you that can see your body moving. The watcher, the observer, the one that if you let it have a say, says the thing that is most accurate to who you are at your core. It in essence is you if you didn not have that big slab of goo in your head, or you did not have that stump with 4 limbs coming out of it. It is essentially the light that clicks you on.
Okay, so I might have lost some of you at the soul speak. But really, what I want you to take away from this, is that there are 3 main parts of you. That’s it, just 3. Not 3 million, not 3000 not even 300, just 3. 3. Say it with me 3! If you are experiences turmoil, or you are feeling lost, or things are feeling hard, then what that means is something is off with one of or maybe even all of these 3 things, but that’s it. Just one of these things is a little bit misaligned, or needs more attention, or needs space. But that is all. It is not that you are a broken person, it is not that you have unsolvable deep seeded issues, it’s not that you’re bad. It’s that one of these 3 things that makes up you, needs some of your time & attention. & that is totally & completely with in the realms of what you are capable of. It does not have to be this big scary, confusing mystery. It has to be 1 of these 3 things, that’s it.
But Adozie, no I’m different because- ah! No, you are a human being, you are made up of these 3 components, it is not more complicated then that. Why do you insist on being in confusion, why do you insist on believing that it is just too complicated, or too difficult to solve or figure out? You are not above the human experience, you are a human after all, this is what it looks like. So if you can follow me, we are going to take a walk down a very simple road of possible ailments. Now, I am in no way suggesting that change & growth & self-awareness is a super easy thing. No, it takes application. & we know that application, especially around something new, can be hard at first. I’m not claiming that it’s not hard. I am claiming however, that it is simple. It’s not that complicated, you are not a fucking riddle. You are human, we’re in 2021, we know what you’re made up of. Stop making it more confusing for yourself than it has to be. It’s just an excuse, & as an adult, it’s tired. You are capable. & you can do this.
Okay? Now listen up!
Component #1 Your brain. Your brain is constantly & insistently thinking all day long. It is coming up with stories & scenarios, it is judging you & critiquing you, it is encouraging you & giving you ego boosts. But what does all of that boil down to? Thoughts. You are having thoughts. & what are thoughts? Just sentences in your brain. That’s it. No real threats, no actual things that will jump out of your brain & into you reality in front of you, just a string of words in your head that you are saying to yourself.
Component #2 Your body. Your body the thing that has the capacity to create sensations for you. Good or bad, your body is the vessel for your emotions. Your body is the thing that turns the thoughts into reality. Your thoughts cause your body to react. Think a happy thought, feel what sensations take place in your body. Think a sad thought, watch the physical sensations that take place in your body. Your body & your mind are constantly in this dance all day long. Is this concept exhausting & maybe even daunting? Yeah sure! But is it complicated? No. It is very simple. Think a thought, feel a physical sensation in your body. Component 1 &2? Check check.
Now the final component – your soul! This is where we start to think it gets complicated. But girlies, it does not. So listen closely. You know how you have a thought? Well the fact that you can see that thought means that you are not the thought correct? If you say something to yourself in your brain right now, there is the saying & there is the listening. If you are listening, then you are not the saying correct? The fact that you can observe your thoughts means that you are not your thoughts. Just the same way that you can observe your body so you know you are not your body. Now the thing that connects your brain to your body is your soul. The you that is watching all of this take place. That is your soul. The soul is the part of you that convert your thoughts into the emotion. The soul is the part of you that filters whether something is good or bad. Whether something is positive or negative. Whether something is for you or not. Your soul is the lenses.
Now the only time any of this gets complicated, or confusing or too much, is when we are mistaking things that are not our soul as ourselves. This can happen when we believe we are our brain- so like we think we are Judge Youdy, Right, when we give that inner critic to much space, or too much credit. Or this also happens when we mistake our body for our soul. When we give the way we look to much weight* in our worthiness & fixate on it as means to find true happiness. Or when we mistake material objects for our soul, by spending all of our time & energy trying to buy our way to happiness. Or when we mistake our life’s milestones* as our soul & put to much weight & energy into achieving as means to feel worthy. Or when we mistake our soul in another person’s actions, or behaviors.
I’m telling you right now. When you feel lost, or overwhelmed, or stressed, or misaligned, or unworthy, or not enough, it is because you are misplacing your soul. You are looking for yourself in external things, in external people, in external circumstances, when the only way to get to it & to access it is to look within. Is to find that space between your thoughts & your body & live in it.
Now, this does not mean you are always in bliss, & that you never feel badly. Absolutely that is not what I’m saying. But what you will be feeling is honesty. You will be holding space for your truth & that is the best & most loving thing we can do for ourselves as humans on this planet. You can feel any way you want to feel. All feelings are welcome & allowed. But the best way to move through your life, is through finding your true feelings & giving space for them. Not just what’s appropriate, or what you think you should be feeling, or how you think it looks best, but how you actually feel. & when you can learn to let that side of you lead, then you will be closer & closer to understanding yourself at the deepest level. & the most you understand yourself, & the more you accept yourself & have your own back, the less & less you need all of the external things to live a fulfilling life.
No, I’m not saying go all Buddhist & get rid of all your shit & live from a place of enlightenment (I mean if you wanna do that, fucking go for it, seriously, more power to you) but what I am saying, is that when you stop getting stuck jumping from one lie you’re telling yourself to the next, you will have room in your life for the things that actually matter to you & you will have room to do those things & slowly you will create a life that looks & feels like you. Because you won’t be chasing anything but your own truth. You will be following your soul, you will be following your hearts desire. You won’t be allowing yourself to clouded by a sentence in your brain, or the sensations in your body, you will be able to use those as a tool, to make your life bigger & grander, but they won’t define you. Because they can’t.
& maybe right now you think you don’t know. You think you don’t have the answers you think you need to do more & learn more & that you are going to find yourself by looking outside of you. But I’m telling you that all roads lead back in. You are going to have to do the work one way or another, & you can spend time distracting yourself & putting on a new label, or a new persona & trying to be a person that does x, y or z. But eventually, you know yourself, & you can keep running, but no matter what you’re under there. & it may feel scary at first, I’m not saying that won’t be the case. But, what if you could just be there for yourself, like you would a good friend, & just allow your soul & your heart to tell you some of it’s answers. To tell you what’s true for it & just see if you can be a listening ear.
Because if you’re refusing to listen, you are calling out for yourself in other ways. In material items you buy that don’t make you feel better, in relationships you’re engaging in that you know are no good for you, in achievements you are going for that you don’t care about as a means to prove something to yourself. If you would just stop & really listen to yourself, you would see that you’re only doing all of this as a cry for attention. Attention that you keep denying yourself. You keep distracting yourself as a means of avoiding this honest & true talk with your soul. It’s time to give yourself what you want which is ultimately what you need. & it all starts by listening. You are talking to yourself. Don’t say you can’t hear anything, don’t say idk, don’t say it’s too confusing or it won’t work for you. Just try first. Just take the first step in believing that you aren’t that complicated & it’s just 3 components. Open yourself up to the idea that you are enough to solve any internal conflict you have. You are your own road map, you just need to take a step back & read it for once. You are just too deep into it, too deep into your own bullshit, lol, just take a breath, take a step back & see what’s in there. It might surprise you to find out, you have a lot you’ve been needing to get off your chest with yourself. You can handle that & you also deserve it.
So that’s where I’m going to end today Girlies, you’re not that complicated, & you got this.
How you are feeling is a direct result of the thoughts that you are thinking period, so it’s important that you open yourself up to both your mind & your body as means to have a better understanding of yourself & your life.
And just a note here, the fact that you can say something to yourself, means that there is the thought & then there is the you, there is the observer who can recognize & see the sentence.